Thursday, November 10, 2011

Adventures with Eyes: Contacts

The following is a self-indulgent log of my attempt to wear contacts.

I never thought I'd wear them, but for the sake of convenience and being able to see when doing things like riding rollercoasters and/or cosplay, I'm giving them a shot.  This is no small feat for me as I A) Have never used eye drops, or put anything in my eye, and B) had a bad experience when I was 4 where I got a cinder stuck in my eye on a train ride, and then C) several years later got gnats stuck in my eye.  Gnats!  And you wonder why I hate bugs so much!

May or may not be a dramatization.

I'm going to try and update this as things do or don't develop.

Friday, October 21st 2:55 pm

-Visit the doctor's office and am given a walkthrough on how to put in the contacts.
-Spend about fifteen minutes trying to get one contact in, and failing.  Secretary/current contact coach tells me to put the contact down and get used to touching my eye with my finger.  Do so after "what the fuck" feeling passes.
-Spend another ten minutes trying to get one contact in, eventually succeeding.  Now my vision is all kinds of screwed up with one eye that can see and another that's still legally blind.
-Try getting the other contact in for about twenty minutes, then discover I was supposed to use my dominant hand (left) to put them in.  Great!
-Secretary leaves the office saying to come out if I get the contact in.  Fifteen minutes later, I still don't have it in.
-Five minutes after she comes back I finally get the other one in.  Now I have to take a contact out and put it back in.  this takes another ten minutes to get it out and five minutes to get it back in.
-Total time in contact training: 1 hour 15 minutes.

Could be worse I guess... 

-Drive home without wearing glasses for the first time.  Put my finger between my eyes to try and adjust the glasses I'm not wearing twice on the way home.
-Make that four times by that evening.
-Need to take out contacts after 5 hours as my eyes aren't used to wearing them yet.  7 the next day, 9 the next, and so on.
-Successfully take out contacts after about eight minutes of trying.  That didn't take as long as I thought it would.

Saturday October 22nd

-Get one contact in after about six tries, but it's folded on my eye and off-center.  Holy shit that hurt.  Eventually get the lens nudged into position and unfolded.
-Attempt to put in other contact and realize it's not on my finger anymore.  Fear for a moment that it dropped down the sink, only to find it sticking to the mirror.  The hell?

No, after you!

-Get the other lens in after a bit.  Total time getting lenses in: about... 15 minutes?  20?  I forgot to check the clock before trying it. Either way I need to keep them in a bit longer than yesterday while my eyes adjust to them.
-Take out both contacts later in the day in under ten minutes.  Only problem is I put both contacts in the same storage thing and don't know which one is the left lens and which is the right.  Considering my eyes are different not just in prescription but in shape and the lenses reflect that, this could end badly.

Sunday October 23

-Call the doctor's office and confirm that putting the lenses in the wrong eyes won't do anything worse than potentially blur long-distance vision a bit.  Hey, I like to be absolutely sure, okay?

Monday October 24

-Don't put the contacts in at all.  Didn't wake up soon enough to put them in and didn't remember to do it after (eventually) getting home.

I'm here to sell you Oops Insurance!

Tuesday October 25

-Forget to time how long it takes to get the contacts in, but get them out in a little over five minutes.  Most of getting them in was me dropping the left contact and trying to find it.  For some reason it takes longer with the left eye than the right.  Cosidering I'm left-handed, that means I'm struggling with what should be the easier eye.

Wednesday October 26

-Decide to wear contacts to classes.  Only takes about five minutes to get them in and, again, the left eye takes longer.  Debating calling mom and asking if it was the left eye I got a cinder stuck in when I was a kid.  The thing is, the contacts don't hurt to put in at all, they just feel a little odd at first.  But when I try to put one in my left eye, it keeps closing almost every time the contact makes... well, contact with it.

Wednesday November 2

Have been wearing contacts on and off lately.  Mostly off.  I can't look at things close up in detail like I can by taking my glasses off.  Considering the amount of cosplay work I've been doing, that discourages wearing contacts.

Thursday November 3

I head to Youmacon today.  Put in my contacts before heading to class/work.  I admit that a big reason I got contacts is so I wouldn't be blind when in cosplay.  I have no shame.

Could be worse, I guess.

It only takes a few minutes to get the contacts in now, and again, the left eye is harder than the right despite my using my left hand to put them in.  How work does?!

Friday November 4 through Sunday November 6

Successfully got contacts in and out the entire time in under five minutes in spite of sleep deprivation.  Now the only bad news is, I have no idea where my regular glasses went.